


come as you are (as you were)

by swoonzi



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Fluff and Angst, M/M, jihoon loves astronomy, mentions of past jigyu, soonyoung loves dance and jihoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 14:22:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6858529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swoonzi/pseuds/swoonzi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"don't cry, don't you know the moon and stars watch you too?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	come as you are (as you were)

**Author's Note:**

> title from this [song.](https://soundcloud.com/yuna-music/come-as-you-are)

     jihoon is five when he arrives to the big bustling city of seoul. jihoon is five when his heavy accent becomes too much of a burden for his classmates in daycare, so is secluded from the others to colour by himself. here intrudes kwon soonyoung who shamelessly stalks towards jihoon who's teary eyed at the edge of the classroom, and noisily asks, "where ya' from?" his eyes are slanted crescents and jihoon gets homesick, because along the coastlines of busan, jihoon's mother would hold his hand and tell him the tale of "the sun and the moon." heavy satoori still intact, jihoon looked up at and soonyoung and with his best seoulite accent.

     "i'm from busan." soonyoung doesn't tease, in fact he delightedly smiles, eyes crunching down.

     "i'm from namyangju and don't cry, don't you know the moon and stars watch you too?" jihoon's happiness could overpower the largest mountain in busan.

—

     jihoon is thirteen when he enters his last year of elementary school. he joins an astronomy club and soonyoung contently watches him from the sidelines of the school's dance studio. "why did you join astronomy club?" soonyoung always asked when jihoon sat at the edge of the practice room while soonyoung swiveled his hips and feet to old bossa songs.

     "you know the tale of the sun and moon right? the one about the tiger eating two children's mother and come for the children, who in return trick the tiger and transform into the sun and moon?" soonyoung nods. "i don't know, that story really stuck with me. back in busan you can see the stars illuminate whole towns."

     jihoon continues to talk about the stars and soonyoung stops dancing to peek at jihoon who looks awfully radiant himself when he speaks. this is something soonyoung's come to love across the years. by no means is jihoon a speaker, but when he does, he talks with passion flaring from his mind, body, and soul, and he wishes that jihoon would never stop.

—

     jihoon is fifteen when he tells his parents that he likes boys. they don't really mind, and jihoon gives them a few days to adjust to a new uncomfortable setting. jihoon's mother strokes his hair and says, "as long as you're happy." and jihoon's father asks if it's because of soonyoung. "no, father, he's just a friend." jihoon states and exits the house... only to arrive at soonyoung's ten minutes after.

     soonyoung rambles about upcoming dance competitions and jihoon promises to cheer him on from the sidelines. before he leaves for home, he sits soonyoung down and tells him that he likes boys, and soonyoung shows the same smile that he's had since he was five. crescent shaped eyes drooping down and lips stretching upwards.

     "okay."

     "okay?"

     "it's okay, i'm gay too."

     "okay." that day jihoon forgets to mention that he partially joined astronomy club because once he saw soonyoung's smile, he couldn't help himself from joining a club that allowed jihoon to study what he loves most that reminded him of soonyoung.

—

     jihoon is eighteen when he finds kim mingyu hidden within the library shelves, constellation book in hand. his heart flutters more than the paper lanterns that get let loose on festival nights back in his hometown, and they end up discussing the importance of the stories behind constellations for hours.

     the same day, soonyoung rings jihoon up and asks to meet him at the university's (which they both enrolled in) observatory. soonyoung's side profile is tinted with brilliant light from what little light the building really holds and jihoon makes sure to mention mingyu later. "jihoon, we're best friends right?" is the first thing that comes out of soonyoung's mouth.

     "yeah, we are."

     "you know... do you think..." jihoon's heart clenches. "i like you, jihoon. we could go out right? i'd treat you just right and..."

     "soonyoung, i think i found a boyfriend today."

     "what?"

     "kim mingyu, i think i like him."

     "o...oh... i..."

     "sorry, soonyoung." jihoon trembles in place and soonyoung scratches the back of his neck in disappointment and gawking as.

     "sorry, then i'll just..."

     "yeah... sorry, soonyoung."

     "it's okay, hoonie, you know i'd never make you do anything you didn't want."

—

     jihoon is nineteen when he makes himself and mingyu official and marks a year since he and soonyoung have last talked. he learns through mutual friends that he graduated college early to pursue his dream of opening a dance studio to teach others. jihoon does a lot of reminiscing that day.

—

     jihoon is twenty when he learns love doesn't last forever and weeps in mingyu's embrace. "jihoon, lov-"

     "don't call m... me that..." he mumbles and unwraps himself from the others lanky body.

     "i didn't want to cheat, jihoon."

     "i'm leaving." and mingyu doesn't stop him. jihoon drawls back a heavy sigh and rings up the only person who would be awake at this house. "hoonie?" a voice comes from the other end and honestly, jihoon doesn't know what to say next. "hoonie? you there? hey... hey are you crying? fuck, where are you? hoon? jihoon?!" jihoon chokes on his upcoming tears and straightens himself against a dark alley beside mingyu's apartment.

     "soonyoung, can you pick me up? i'll text you the address." soonyoung's shuffling through the phone and musters a line of curses that jihoon wishes he could say himself.

     "yes, fuck, jihoon baby where are you?" jihoon's face scrunches at the pet name and shoots a text. "okay, yeah, okay, i'll be there soon, yeah? wanna stay on the phone?" he musters no and hangs up. soonyoung drives a nice bmw, a nice sign of his success at coaching dance. jihoon hops in shot gun and twiddles his fingers while soonyoung drives through the streets of seoul. "hey it's three am, want to explain?" the dancer places a hand on jihoon's thigh and caresses it gently, nothing sexual, all consensual.

     "i'm not with mingyu anymore." jihoon states monotonously.

     "he's an asshole, don't trust men over six feet, jihoon." "he's dating wonwoo, that co-worker of yours." soonyoung nearly pulls the brakes, and he would if it wasn't for the endless rows of traffic that blockade everything in sight. andromeda the princess is fully alight in the night sky tonight and jihoon wants to bawl. soonyoung holds in his excrete words and pulls down his sun roof instead. "hoonie, don't think, just look up, love. see there? perseus, cassiopeia, cetus, and cepheus. they're all there." soonyoung's eyes lay on the road and doesn't notice jihoon's careful glances. "you know?" "of course love. don't cry, don't you know the moon and stars watch you too?"

     jihoon is twenty when he falls in love with his childhood friend, or at least finalizes a conclusion that he does. in retrospect, he always has.

**Author's Note:**

> ok sometimes i reread this and start crying not because the writing is good but this is so sad wtf who hurt me???


End file.
